I have a story of a girl and a boy...

There's a teenage girl who's still pure and stupid as well, didn't know much about world, neither she wanted in life. She lived in a house, with a big tall wall and a locked gate and she never looked outside the windows, but she went out sometimes when it's needed.

The gate has an automatic system. It would recognize while her close friends and girl friends came, then the gate would automatically open, that's it. For the girl acquaintances, they needed to ring the bell for first visit, then for next visit the gate would automatically open. While for boy friends and acquaintances, they needed to ring the bell outside the gate when visiting. Then, she would decide and set which would the ones who didn't need to ring the bell for next visit, who did still need to. However, for mostly boys who wanted to visit her to get to know about her, they didn't have any guts to ring the bell outside the gate since the wall was intimidating. Therefore, there's a very few boys that could get close to her.

Years passed, she's more mature now. She still lives in her house with that big tall wall and locked gate, still never looks outside the windows, yet goes out more often than before. One day, while she was outside, she met her old friend, not a close one, a boy.

Unexpectedly, she can get along well with that boy. She shares her thoughts about many things, about world, about life. Surprisingly, he has same ideas with her, though his character is quite different. She never thought before that she would met a boy who had same idea with her or a boy who could understand about her thoughts, who could accept her as she was. It's more unpredictable that the boy was actually her old friend. Yes, she didn't know much about boys when she's teenager, then she never realized there's someone who's very good around her.

For first time in her life, she sets the gate to automatically open when that boy's coming, although that boy never visited her before. Thus, when that boy's coming, the gate will open itself without ringing the bell. Nevertheless, even though the boy's coming to her house through that gate, he still need to knock the front door. She never looks outside through the windows, so she won't know if there's someone outside her house. Maybe he's ever come to her house but not knocking the door, or maybe he's simply never come.

Now, she's waiting inside her house, waiting for that boy to come. The gate's never locked for that boy, so the only thing that the boy should do while visiting her is knocking the door. Simply knock, then she can open the door for him. So far, they are so close... So close, and still so far...

I just read my friend's blog, her name is Dhea, while the blog is GoBlog http://nanditadhea.blogspot.com
She posted a lyric of a song titled He Heals Me by India Arie. I'm really amazed by that lyric because it represents myself, my thinking and feeling as well.

And, here is the lyric

He Heals Me

I told him my biggest secret

And he told me four

He smiled at me and said

That makes me love you more
And then he made me laugh

And I knew it was a sign

That he was a man

That I wanted in my life
And with every passing day

I feel more and more of that way
He heals me, he knows the real me

And he accepts me, he never hurts me

He heals me, he knows the real me

And he accepts me, he never hurts me

He heals me, he heals me
I can play him songs all through the night

And he will listen to every line

And even when I'm wrong, he is still kind

He chooses his words wisely

When he tells me I'm not right
And yes, he is a beautiful man

But he is also a beautiful friend
The moment that we met, he made me smile

He has so much compassion in his eyes

I have no idea, how long he'll be here

A season or a lifetime, forever or a year
But for the first time in my life

I'm not worried about the future

Because we have such a wonderful time when we're together
However things turn out, it's all right

'Cause he's already changed my life

Start from "And yes, he is a beautiful man, but he is also a beautiful friend..." until end, that's what I really think about someone.

I ever posted "Is It Wrong?" on this blog on June 22, 2012 where I wrote "I choose enjoying what I feel now, instead of worrying what will happen later." and also "That I know for sure is I don't wanna lose him as a friend. If fate puts me and him together, he will be my lifetime 'friend'. If destiny wants me and him separated, he will be still my friend. Whatever future will bring, I will keep him as my friend, since he is a precious friend of mine." Those lines of "Is It Wrong?" have the same meaning as the lines "I'm not worried about the future..." till end. That's true that I have no idea how long he'll be here, but I'm not worried at all. And yes, it is first time in my life.

Just for You karya Mutiara Andalas adalah sebuah buku yang diberikan oleh salah satu sahabat saya, Mutiana Muspita Jeli, ketika saya berulang tahun beberapa tahun lalu-saya lupa kapan pastinya. Buku ini berisi tentang perhatian, pengertian, harapan, cinta, dan kehidupan manusia dengan manusia, serta manusia dengan Tuhan. Buku yang sangat menginspirasi. Dulu, ketika saya membacanya pertama kali, banyak hal yang belum saya mengerti akan makna dibalik tulisan-tulisan di buku itu. Sekarang, ketika saya membacanya kembali, saya mengerti semuanya. Saya rasa, pengalaman berperan penting bagi saya untuk mengerti segalanya. Ya, perjalanan hidup memang mengajari banyak hal, hal-hal yang tidak ada di buku mana pun.

Membaca buku tersebut membuat saya ingin berbagi tentang harapan dan keyakinan. Mengapa dua hal tersebut yang ingin saya bahas? Alasannya adalah karena saya merasa bahwa harapan dan keyakinan yang bisa membuat saya bangkit dari setiap masalah yang menimpa saya. Saya tidak akan membahasnya jika saya tidak pernah merasakan keajaiban dari sebuah harapan dan keyakinan dalam hidup saya.

Di buku tersebut dikatakan, harapan itu seperti sebatang lilin yang menyala. Jika satu saja dihidupkan, ia akan menerangi sebuah ruangan yang gelap. Jika satu saja dihidupkan, ia akan dapat menyalakan lilin-lilin lainnya. Ketika lilin pengharapan masih ada, lilin yang lain pun bisa dihidupkan.

Kita cenderung berhenti berharap saat diberitahu kemungkinan terburuk. Padahal, keajaiban akan selalu hadir ketika kita memiliki harapan. Dan kita harus yakin akan hal ini. Percaya, bahwa keajaiban itu selalu ada. Hal inilah yang membuat saya kuat dan bangkit dalam menghadapi setiap masalah, sebesar apa pun itu.

Ketika kita mengalami kesulitan, ketika kenyataan yang ada begitu pahit, ketika hidup begitu kelam, ketika masalah terus saja datang, merenunglah. Renungkan mengapa kita mengalami kesulitan. Renungkan mengapa kenyataan terasa pahit. Renungkan mengapa hidup terasa kelam. Renungkan mengapa Tuhan memberikan kita masalah. Renungkan apa yang kita miliki hingga saat ini. Lihatlah segalanya dari sisi positifnya, hilangkan negatifnya.

Kesulitan adalah cara Tuhan untuk membuat kita menjadi lebih kuat, lebih dekat dengan-Nya, bukan lebih jauh. Berharaplah dan yakinlah. Kenyataan yang pahit itu ada karena kita mengambil buah yang salah. Buang buah itu, dan cari buah yang lain, pasti akan ada yang manis. Berharaplah dan yakinlah. Hidup terasa kelam karena kita tidak mau melihat sisi terangnya. Ingatlah bahwa bulan dan bintang diciptakan untuk menyinari malam. Selalu ada cahaya dalam setiap kegelapan. Berharaplah dan yakinlah. Masalah yang terus datang adalah sebuah ujian dari Tuhan, yang akan membuat kita naik kelas jika kita mampu melaluinya. Tuhan tahu yang terbaik untuk kita dan tidak pernah memberikan masalah yang tidak dapat ditanggung oleh umat-Nya. Berharaplah dan yakinlah.

Kita butuh memahami bahwa Tuhan memberikan beban yang sesuai beratnya dengan kemampuan bahu kita untuk menopangnya. Dan ketika beban itu terlalu berat, Tuhan menciptakan banyak bahu untuk membantu. Kita harus yakin bahwa selalu ada harapan biarpun hanya segaris. Karena dengan harapan, akan ada segaris...segaris...dan segaris lagi.

Di mana ada harapan, di situ ada kehidupan. Yakinlah!

I really have a harsh time right now. It seems so bad, if I see it from negative side.

It's not my choice since it hurts so much. But, this is the best way for me from God.

And I am so thankful for that. I feel so blessed, I feel so loved by God.

I just can pray and let the miracle happen to my life (again).

Here's a song, popularized by Mariah Carey, that inspires me much,

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear

In our hearts a hopeful song

We barely understood

Now we are not afraid

Although we know there's much to fear

We were moving mountains long

Before we knew we could

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe


In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove(s) in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing hereMy heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say


There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you willYou will when you believe

 

They don't (always happen) when you ask

And it's easy to give in to your fears

But when you're blinded by your pain

Can't see your way straight throught the rain

(A small but )still resilient voice

Says (hope is very near)

There can be miracles

When you believe (Lord, when you believe)

Though hope is frail (Though hope is frail)

It's hard to kill (Hard to kill)

Who knows what miracles, you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will (somehow,somehow, somehow)

Somehow you will

You will when you believe

You will when you

You will when you believe

Just believe...in your heart

Just believe

You will when you believe~

"Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough"

It's my new favorite quote

    "I want a fairy tale"


                             Vivian Ward (Pretty Woman)

It's very rare for me to catch a sunrise from my room, the window of my room I mean.
I was really amazed with that one, it's sooooo beautiful.. :)

"Keberuntungan adalah kesempatan yang bertemu dengan kesiapan"

          -anonymous-

From the movie, Changeling.

"Never start the fight, always finish it."

I totally agree.

Aku Mau - Once

Kau boleh acuhkan diriku
Dan anggap ku tak ada
Tapi takkan merubah perasaanku
Kepadamu

Kuyakin pasti suatu saat
Semua kan terjadi
Kau kan mencintaiku
Dan tak akan pernah melepasku

Aku mau mendampingi dirimu
Aku mau cintai kekuranganmu
Selalu bersedia bahagiakanmu
Apapun terjadi
Kujanjikan aku ada

Kau boleh jauhi diriku
Namun kupercaya
Kau kan mencintaiku
Dan tak akan pernah melepasku

Aku mau mendampingi dirimu
Aku mau cintai kekuranganmu
Aku yang rela terluka
Untuk masa lalu


Lagu ini adalah salah satu lagu favoritku. Yah, namanya juga perempuan, pasti ada mellownya, hehe.. Aku merasa  bahwa lagu ini sangat cocok menggambarkan apa yang ku rasakan kepada seseorang. Aku menyukainya, tetapi apa mau dikata dia tidak meresponku seperti yang aku harapkan. Lagi-lagi ego perempuan, aku begitu percaya diri bahwa suatu saat dia akan balik menyukaiku. Well, kita tidak tahu apa yang akan terjadi besok kan?

So, I keep dreaming!