Archive for January 2016

(I Think) Curiosity Can Kill You


posted by Tyara Mandasari on

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Happy New Year! Yeah I know it's already like 24 days ago, but hey, it's still new year though :-D

Well, last year was kinda phenomenal for me. I graduated from school, gaining my master degree. Pretty cool, huh? haha. Oh and, I went to Holland with my little brother to visit my relatives there, also we had a short trip to Paris. This was my first time, going to Europe, and guess what? One of my last year bucket list did come true! I was having sooooo much fun it could be a crime. Definitely would go there again someday!

Anyway, as new year came, reality, too, came hitting me. January is always a sacred month for me because yeah it's the beginning of the year, which is good, but also an alarm that I'm aging. It's not that it's not good, just... I don't know, always a mix feeling here I have. Also mean, I need to reach another dreams of mine, another bucket lists that are waiting to be realized.

This post would be just me blabbering about anything, because to be honest, I wrote here to sort out my mind, to clear the very full-loaded head. Writing on this blog was often my way to share everything while I didn't know whom I should share with or how to share it. Known as a strong and cool person sometimes really sucked. I felt like I couldn't just crumble and cry and become weak. It felt like universe didn't allow me to. That's why here I was again, sharing me become a weak. Now I had to say it, I wasn't as strong as people thought I was.

For several months I was struggling to decide something important for me. To be exact, last year I was meeting someone, a guy, in a coffee shop. I had an eye for him while he's standing looking for an empty table. And I said to myself that he's quite attractive, hmmm my type, haha. Just in split seconds, he seated right beside me as I knew the tables was pretty full. So, it's something's normal. Long story short, my brother talked to him first, and I basically joined in the conversation. Then I knew a bit information about him: we went to same university; he's a year younger than me; now he's studying for his master degree abroad, but I kept his major myself, and the country, too; and he liked games (yes, computer, online games something) as much as my brother. That's the only thing that I knew. I didn't know his contact but we followed each other on twitter. I knew, pretty little, right?

So, yes, I was totally curious about him. Well, I barely knew him so I even couldn't say I had a crush, could I? And yeah, for several months I was thinking what I should do. Believe me I already asked different opinions to different people, but all said it's all up to me. Ha! Like I didn't know already!

However, I came to a decision anyway. I thought that telling him would be the best thing I had to do. I had nothing to lose anyway, as he's just an acquaintance. I felt the urge to just blurt what's in my head to him though I knew he would be really surprised, or perplexed, by it. But well, it's now or never, wasn't it? Otherwise, my curiosity would definitely kill me! While in the end, I expected to be surprised, surely.

Now, I hoped the best luck for me. So, wish me luck!


It's first time, this feeling.